John Hughes, Please Pick Up the Nearest White Courtesy Phone ...

I was always too terrified to throw a party when my parents went away back in school -- not because I was afraid the folks would find out, but rather I was mortified that no one would show up. Apparently kids these days don't have to worry about that:

Remember Corey Delaney? Probably not, but he was the unapologetic Australian surfer dude who threw a crazy house party and subsequently became a minor Internet celebrity after a bunch of people started covering his every move. Anyway, his legacy is seemingly being honored in England, where, according to the Daily Mail (not exactly the exemplar of responsible, measured journalism, but whatever), packs of hooligan kids are now using sites like MySpace and Facebook to source and crash house parties they're not invited to. And it's ripping apart the very fabric of society!

The latest victim is poor 17-year-old Sarah Ruscoe. Ruscoe, who lives in a big old 21-bedroom Georgian manor, decided to post details of her upcoming birthday party on social networking site Bebo without telling mommy. Next thing she knew, 2,000 people were at her door (a local radio DJ had even mentioned it on air), swigging vodka, urinating all over the place, and trashing valuable family heirlooms. Luckily, Sarah's mom is very understanding! "I blame the modern means of communication," she says.

If you haven't already seen the video of Corey Delaney, get thee there pronto. It's a masterpiece of adolescent obstinacy that all should witness.