The South Carolina GOP Primary Ballot

Includes such luminaries as:

Hugh Cort
John Cox
Cap Fendig
Rudy Giuliani
Mike Huckabee
Duncan Hunter
John McCain
Ron Paul
Mitt Romney
Tom Tancredo
Fred Thompson.

I've written about Dr. Hugh Cort III elsewhere, Jon Cox is well known egomaniac, but who the hell is Cap Fendig and, more importantly, how did he pony up the $35,000 to get his name on the ballot?

Well, he's apparently a Glynn County (GA) Commissioner, who is also on the ballot in New Hampshire. Basically Fendig is "the fringe man's Mike Huckabee." He's looking for a whopping 4% showing in Iowa and hopes to do so with an interesting platform:

Fendig is not ashamed to tell you that he thinks the constitution ought to be changed. First up, the Fair Tax, which would repeal the 16^th amendment that allows the government to collect an income tax. Next, he wants to solve the immigration problem by scrapping pieces of the 14^th Amendment. Under the Fendig administration, babies born in the United States would no longer be automatic U.S. citizens. Their parents would have to be citizens, as well. Unclear on whether America would make it a habit of deporting children before they leave the hospital. Oh, and don't forget to tack on a gay marriage amendment while you're at it. (Fendig said homosexuality is a lifestyle choice America cannot endorse but should protect.)

In other word, had Stephen Colbert been able to get himself on to the GOP ticket in South Carolina, he could have conceivably finished in the middle of the pack.