What the Hell is this Jazwiec Guy up to?

A quick primer on John Jawzweic:

RedPrairie Corp. company leader John Jazwiec is threatening to leave Wisconsin, and he's burning the bridges behind him.

...Jazwiec says the state should cut its corporate tax rate by 50 percent and abandon its "socialist mentality." On the other hand, he says the state should invest more in money in the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee, and he says local government entities should stop giving financial incentives to keep companies here.

On one hand, Jazwiec, who has supported conservative political candidates in the past, says his company cannot recruit and retain the young creative class of employees he needs, so he is threatening to move to places such as Austin, Texas; Boston, Mass.; and California's Silicon Valley. Um, excuse me, John. Those are among the most liberal, progressive and highly taxed markets in the country. And you think you've got it bad in Wisconsin?

On one hand, Jazwiec suggests Wisconsin's flag could feature a "hammer and sickle," because it is such a terrible place to do business. On the other hand, he reported this week that RedPrairie gained record third-quarter bookings revenue of $14.7 million, up 49 percent from its previous quarterly record of $9.9 million and up 100 percent over the same period a year ago.

So, what's not to love, John?

Along the way, Jazwiec is taking verbal shots at the City of Milwaukee, the Milwaukee Brewers and Milwaukee's Historic Third Ward. "We need to focus less on baseball teams that play in empty baseball fields and fake creative places like the Third Ward, which is greased by local politicians and people want to leave in a year," Jazwiec said.

Here's a more in-depth story on Mr. Jazwiec, but the picture should already be pretty clear: Successful man who speaks his mind, regardless if what he has to say is really very consistent or makes a lot of sense.

Now take a look at what allegedly happened to the guy recently, in his own words:

I am the resident that had an armed man walk in my house with a police badge. He held the [sic.] my family (wife, myself, and two young daughters) hostage. We did not have any cash and had recently lost our debit cards. So I bargained with him to take computers and iphones to pawn. He left and thankfully we are safe. Because we were not sure it was not an inside job we did not dare go to police headquarters. The 3100 block of Marietta is not taking this standing down. We met Friday and agreed that we can't trust the mayor or the police. We instead are going to hire a private agency to walk our block. We will also be prominently showing signs on the block what we are doing it in lieu of a demanding a rebate on our taxes which by the way are going up 3.3%. Talk is cheap. This will get in the press I promise you. And our block is one that lazy criminals will just avoid. Anyone else want to 'outsource' beat control? Next step - the de-annexation process and our large per capita tax revenues which we can then use to fund police, schools, and real paved roads.

John Jazwiec
President of Redprairie

Okaayyyy ... I can't say I've ever met someone who interrupts the harrowing story of his and his own family's home invasion with an update on the neighborhood's increases in tax levies before ...

So eventually word gets around to cops, who look into the matter and send along this e-mail to the resident of Jazwiec's neighborhood:

Milwaukee Police have no evidence that an incident described by a resident in the 3100 block of N. Marietta has occurred. The resident has refused multiple attempts by Milwaukee Police to investigate the incident he is alleging. Milwaukee Police have attempted to contact this resident through his business, by telephone and by appearing in person at his residence as recently as today, October 2, 2007. Milwaukee Police can not investigate an incident that has not been reported to us. If residents in the area have safety concerns, they are encouraged to contact [etc.] ...

All of which begs the question: Was this burglary some kind of hoax?

Not according to Jazwiec's wife:

"A 300 pound man appeared in my living room!" Julia Jazwiec said.

At first, she thought the intruder might be an under cover cop.

"I saw the badge and thought maybe he's undercover," Julia Jazwiec said.

Then, she saw a gun.

"He basically said 'we can do this the hard way or the easy way. I need money and you are going to give it to me,'" Julia Jazwiec remembers the man saying.

Julia Jazwiec told the man they didn't have any money.

A half hour later, she says the suspect left with a laptop, an I-phone and a credit card.

This has all the hallmarks of something that will get very ugly very quickly and go on for a very long time. Team Mathias at Pundit Nation has a rather blunt take on Jazwiec's reputation:

Let me be clear: John Jazwiec is very annoying.

Duly noted.

Now, if I may, I would like to take this opportunity to call "dibs" on all story rights this (in all likelihood) sordid tale of political intrigue, lust, and armed robbery may have in the future, because this plotline already has Lifetime™ made-for-TV movie written all over it.

I think we can start calling the project When a Stranger Comes Knocking: The Julia Jazwiec Story. Guess what the twist is? The Stranger is really her husband! I'm telling you, if they ran it during sweeps, it would be ratings gold. In fact, I can already hear the voice-over running through the details of this story's episode of "City Confidential."

Hollywood, I work for scale ... and even that can be negotiated if you can hook me up with some kind of producer's credit. Call me some time. We'll do lunch.