Jazwiec: Ripped from the Headlines!

Jazwiec is already hitting talk radio -- doing an interview here with Charlie Sykes (I'm having some technical difficulties with the audio feed on my end, so I haven't been able to listen to the whole thing yet). From the brief WTMJ write up of the interview we get this new tid-bit:

Jazwiec said the man needed $500 in order to feed his family. The CEO felt for the man and offered him a beer while they talked. While appearing on Mid-day with Charlie Sykes, Jazwiec said he explained to the man they didn't have cash, but could give him items to take to a pawn shop.

I'll be honest: this makes the I-thought-he-was-a-cop excuse considerably less credible. If the robber was just some guy kind of down on his luck, maybe even driven to an act of desperation, then it would seem obvious that the guy was clearly not a cop, so there really wouldn't have been much worry about it being an "inside job." Now I'm certainly not going to blame Jazwiec for not rationalizing this out in the heat of the moment, but once the guy sits down and starts hammering out e-mails describing what happened to both the mayor and the neighbors, you'd think it would occur to him at some point. Maybe not. I'm going to be on the safe side here and withhold judgment until I can hear the whole interview.

In the meantime, here's some more of the script:

ACT I, SCENE I:

Precinct offices. Detectives GREEN and FONTANA are drinking coffee while seated at facing desks doing paperwork. LT. VAN BUREN enters carrying a handful of manila envelops.

VAN BUREN: Well, you boys certainly know how to pick 'em. Looks like your little Park Avenue home invasion doesn't get a long with the Mayor ...

FONTANA: Our little home invasion? [The DETECTIVES get up and follow VAN BUREN to her office.] You're the one who gave us the case ... so should we send the bottle of wine to your home address or just leave it on you desk?

VAN BUREN [says looking over her glasses]: Tell you what: watch my kids while Mr. Van Buren and I get a night to ourselves, and we'll call it even.

[GREEN and FONTANA quickly look at each other before returning their attention to VAN BUREN]

FONTANA: Uhhh, I think we'll stick to getting stonewalled by Gracey Mansion on this one, boss.

VAN BUREN [sorting through the envelops]: I thought you would ...

[GREEN and FONTANA sit down]

GREEN: So here's what I don't get: the guy gets robbed, waits three days, and instead of calling the cops, he writes a strongly worded letter to the neighborhood association ...

FONTANA: And when us cops finally do hear about it, he refuses to cooperate for another four days, saying he doesn't trust the NYPD. And why? Because the robber flashes a fake badge. It just doesn't add up.

VAN BUREN: No, it doesn't add up.

GREEN: And this all supposedly because Jacobsen and the mayor have duked it out before? That doesn't seem very plausible -- I mean, what have you heard from the Mayor's office about all of this?

VAN BUREN: They don't want to touch this one with a ten foot pole. The Chief says both investigations are to be done by the book -- he even said "by the book" twice for good measure.

FONTANA: Both investigations?

VAN BUREN: Internal Affairs is looking into this one too.

GREEN: But we're not even sure if the perp is actually a cop.

VAN BUREN: Doesn't matter. This John Jacobsen character has been an outspoken critic of the Mayor's for some time now and City Hall doesn't want this to look in any way political.

GREEN: I see. Well, that's some pretty smart politics on their part.

VAN BUREN: Exactly.

FONTANA: So aside from being a pain in the Mayor's behind, what does this Jacobsen guy do for a living, and don't tell me he's a hot dog vendor 'cause I've been to his neighborhood and there are doormen in that area that wear my annual income.

VAN BUREN [looking for the right file]: He's some kind of self-made millionaire, hot shot, venture capitalist -- which may just mean the Mayor's asking us to tread lightly because he doesn't want an investigation to turn into a lawsuit against the city. [Takes off her glasses, the DETECTIVES get up from their chairs and get ready to leave.] Go see the wife. She's staying with a relative on the Upper West Side while Mr. Jacobsen's away on business.

GREEN: Wait -- did you just say he was out of town?

FONTANA: So soon after all this happened?

VAN BUREN: Not of town, out of the country.

[GREEN and FONTANA look at each other in befuddlement as VAN BUREN hands them the case file.]

VAN BUREN: It's not my problem any more ... You boys just let me know when you want to take me up on my babysitting offer.

[Fade to black.]