Microwave Testing?

Michael Vick is considering a plea agreement to soften the blow of the dog fighting charges filed against him in federal court, but even if he evades the harshest of criminal actions he will still have to contend with some civil litigation:

Jonathan Lee Riches has accused Vick of stealing pit bulls from him, selling the dogs on eBay and attempting to use the profits to purchase missiles from the Iranian government. The complaint, which was handwritten because Riches did not have access to a typewriter in jail, also includes federal tort claims including, but not limited to, "injury to wildlife, conspiracy, illegal dogfighting, extortion, racketeering, gambling, copyright infringement, identity theft, fraud, threats to commit violent acts" and brutality.

According to Riches, Vick damaged the radio frequency identification chips in his dogs' collars so that he would not be able to track them after they were stolen. He also has accused Vick of violating copyright law by putting his name on his "personal football outfit and casual clothing" without compensating him accordingly and selling t-shirts, mugs and hats with Riches' name on them.

Riches claims Vick has pledged allegiance to the al Qaeda terrorist network and has used drugs in school zones. The complaint also says Vick subjected Riches to "microwave testing," but it does not elaborate on what that treatment entailed. "[Vick] has to stop physically hurting my feelings and dashing my hopes," the complaint states.

Okay ...

MORE: This just gets better ... Apparently, Mr. Riches (if that's really his name ...) is suing for damages of "$63,000,000,000 billion dollars."

Do you think that's enough? Why not $63 million billion zillion quadrillion dillion trillion fillion times infinite?

MORE YET: See a copy of the hand-written legal brief submitted by Riches.