It's All About Property & Business Rights!

I'm calling on everyone reading this to call your state legislators and Governor Doyle and demand that they repeal the ban on huffing gas in public places in Wisconsin.

After all, gasoline is a legal substance in Wisconsin and in the United States -- if huffing gas was so bad for us, why wouldn't the government just ban it all together?

Whether you're putting it in your car or inhaling the sweet aroma of some Brazilian refined light sweet crude into your lungs -- you're supporting the wildcaters and oil company CEOs that drive our economy and have nothing but the best interests for the American people in mind when they hawk their product on the corners of our great nation.

And if you own a business, well than it's your right to cater to the clientèle of your choice. If they don't like the scent of petroleum in the air, they can just go some place else. Let the free market decide!

Now, personally, I don't huff gas (though I did socially in college, usually after a few too much to drink) and find it a rather repulsive habit. But that's not the point here. The health concerns of the general public are not the issue -- what's really important is that property and business rights be maintained. I mean, if someone wants to huff gas with a beer after their dinner why shouldn't they be allowed to? Even if the two dozen people eating around them don't huff gas -- nay, even if they're allergic! -- they should know better than patronize a gas huffing establishment!

What's this you say? Don't those people have just as much of a right to enjoy a gas huffing-free meal? Well, I say let them order take out! After all, that's completely different from asking a gas huffer to kindly put on his or her coat and go outside to enjoy their habit.

So what if gas huffing is being banned in places like New York City; California; Massachusetts; Washington, DC; and neighboring states like Minnesota and Illinois -- it's a documented fact that those places hate liberty and free enterprise! Just because a few people have looked at the overwhelming scientific evidence that gas huffing is not only a personal health hazard, but also a public safety issue doesn't mean we have to ignore the rights of property and small business owners alike!

You know who also has a gas huffing ban? The French. What with their croissants and their Renaults and their mustaches and funny accents. You know what the French do? Surrender. And that's just what Wisconsin will do if we don't repeal the gas huffing ban in public places: we'll be surrendering the business and property rights of the few places left that actually still allow gas huffing to the health and well-being rights of the many consumers and employees who keep such places running -- gas huffing or not.

I mean, we have to draw a line in the sand here, people. We are already suffering under the yolk of a $1 increase in the gas huffing tax. What's next, I ask? What will Big Brother take away next? Well, if you want my opinion, the government can start by taking away our seat belts because I have never believed those things do anything for me except take away my freedoms!

I swear, this gas huffing ban makes me so mad I feel like I should hold a rally at the Capitol to show all those fat cats in Madison just how many people there are in this state who support gas huffers' rights!

So to all of my gas huffing brothers and sisters out there -- stay strong! Continue to fight the power! And above all: huff 'em if you got 'em!