Friday, January 25, 2008

Underage Drinking, FaceBook & Whatever the Hell it is That I'm Missing

Alright, everyone stop what what you're doing and just hear me out for a second. When we were all back in high school and looking to do a little underage drinking, I generally recall going about accomplishing this mission in a covert manner. Safe-houses were acquired, designated drivers were appointed, clean-up crews were elected, contingency plans were drawn up, alibis were agreed to, etc.

In fact, the planning that went into these operations often approached a degree of military precision that would make a Green Baret blush.

(Pictured above: Three upstanding high school students without any contraband on their persons whatsoever. None at all. Not even a little bit.)

So why, then -- for the love of God -- would you go through all of these absurd measures to hide what you were doing only to post photographic evidence of your law-breaking on the internet? Why not just get shitfaced in the school parking lot during the lunch hour and scream "Hey, Principal McDickers! This is the best day of my entire life -- fuck you, Mom and Dad!" while grabbing your crotch and puking on the pavement?

I mean, us older folks are happy to know that the kids in La Crosse are still pretty cool, but we're also a bit disappointed that you're also still pretty stupid.

Here endeth the lesson.

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