Monday, September 10, 2007

I, Too, Enjoy Trashy Things

I have to admit it -- I cut away from the Dallas-New York game last night for a split second to catch a glimpse of the MTV Video Music Awards and now believe that Viacom owes me 5 minutes of my life back.

The only good thing about this little misadventure in television viewing was that I found out what happened to the music videos MTV used to play. The answer; they are seriously long gone. Despite being called the "Video Music Awards" MTV seemed to side step the conspicuous absence of very many videos on its airwaves these days by handing out moonmen statuettes for awards like "Best Female Performer."

Semantics aside, the Best Female Performer of the night was apparently not Ms. Spears, who will do best to spend the next week or so in an isolation chamber away from any reviews of her performance to open last night's show. This was the lede at the Huffington Post:

Somewhere, Kevin Federline is laughing.

Ouch ... was it really necessary to lead off with the Ex?

... And it only gets worse.

Normally, I'm not one to spend too much time trolling around celebrity gossip sites (some time, yes), but I get the sense the performance was so catastrophic as to be transcendent of infotainment sphere of the internet and may actually be a symbol of American decline (Note: I have yet to hear anyone claim this, nor have I seen said performance with mine own eyes, but if it makes reading this any more interesting, sure -- what the hell -- I'll go right ahead and say it: Brittany Spears performance last night at the VMAs can only be indicative of the decline of American influence and power.)

Anyway, a truly awful performance will mean truly awesome reviews. I'll be looking for the best throughout the day

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