Quixote Rides!

This story would be interesting if it were in any other congressional district but the 5th, where on election day church bells ring to summon legions of the undead to the polls to vote for the 2006 Human Events Man of the Year Jim Sensenbrenner. (See highlights of his stirring, kick ass acceptance speech to a packed crowd at the annual American Conservative Union Conference in DC. What the audience lacks in numbers it makes up for in the cavernous echo of a few lonely, yet vocal, attendees.)

I can't imagine either Walz or Burkee having much of a prayer at being elected, but they might be able to pull off some solid media attention if they demonstrate a cordial, substantive, and professional report on the campaign trail that would likely contrast well with the cantankerousness frequently displayed by Jabba the Sensenbrenner. (And, for the record, let me just say that it's never been the Congressman's physical similarity to the intergalactic crime syndicate magnate that's led me to draw the parallel, but rather his Wisconsin accent, which is so thick that I often wonder if Mr. Sensenbrenner is not fluent in Hut (or at least one or two or of the regional dialects).)

I can't imagine the Concordia History Dept. will be as serious as candidates as they should be -- after all, they will have papers to grade, T.A.s to ogle, etc. -- but I think the structure of their campaign might set them up for the inevitable "moral victory" (barring an unforeseen drunken driving episode, or the like, a month before the primary). Plus they will be able to publish what will have to be a thoroughly enjoyable article in the Journal of Contemporary Political Discourse or whatever low-circulation academic pub will get them tenure.

Messrs. Walz and Burkee, we here at The Chief salute you and wish you God speed.