Operation: Smear Spears

Total disaster. I had such high expectations and basically got minimal return on my emotional investment. Here are some notables:

Says the Chicago Trib:

Until Sunday night, I thought Star Jones' new Court TV talk show was the most painful train wreck in recent memory. Wrong.

Britney Spears' performance at the MTV Video Music Awards on Sunday was even more jaw-droppingly bad.

Then there's this guy's take:

Spears appeared fatigued and showing effects of a massive hangover at her premiere slot.

And over here:

[F]or God's sake, someone save this girl. She doesn't have enough energy here to possibly be tweaking on crystal, but she's at least stoned, or has had a lobotomy.

Then it start's getting really ugly:

This was Britney’s comeback, her chance to redeem all the negativity of the past couple years, to show us all the Britney’s Back Bitches! The only thing it showed us is that she’s the new Anna Nicole Smith!

Yikes! Everyone seems to have an opinion on the performance -- even the National Journal couldn't help but chiming in. For the most part the commentary was rather derivative, which made Gawker's brief note on the ordeal poignant in its brevity:

We have no words.

I think it's best to just leave it at that, but if you're truly desperate for more we will leave you with the New York Post.

WE SPOKE TOO SOON: Jezebel to the rescue ... The American Spectator's (!?!) take ...

MORE: Idolator ... The Superficial, delightfully true to its name:

Supposedly Criss Angel was consulted about adding magic to the performance. What magic was that? The off-rhythm dancing? The fishnet stockings whose strength suggest a Kryptonian origin? Or maybe it was dark magic that struck fear into those who looked too closely. Christ, 50 Cent has been shot nine times and was scared shitless sitting in the front row. He’s probably been up all night, clutching his blanket in fear that the Jiggly Girl will sloppily dance out of the closet at any second. God knows I was. I kept a Big Mac on my nightstand so I could distract her with it and make my getaway.