Wednesday, October 28, 2009

The Literary Offenses of Kyle Maichle (With Apologies to Mark Twain)

I don't ask much from bloggers, but one thing I absolutely demand is a basic acquaintance with grammar. I'm not talking about the finely honed skills of a black belt grammarian, just a causal familiarity with the basics. Now, I usually give a lot of leeway to bloggers, because speed kills online and it's extremely difficult to edit one's own material, but, please for the love of all that's holy, is it too much to ask of someone to know how to use a preposition?

Kyle Maichle apparently does not have such concerns. This kid is in dire need of an editor. Take, for example, his post today. Putting aside, for a moment, that I find his opinion only makes sense in the context of heavy peyote use, just look at how awfully it's written. I have known high school sophomores with a better command of the English language. Every time this kid gets behind a keyboard he may as well be kicking the adorable puppies of America's English teachers.

The thought had crossed our minds to reprise Mark Twain's wonderful example of colleague criticism, but no one's that good. Instead, to help young Kyle out, we've taken the liberty of editing his latest opus with an aim of maintaining as much of his own words as possible. Our corrections are in red, everything else comes from Maichle. Bare in mind that we aren't trying to rewrite these sentences, just clean them up.
Since Last Friday’s front-page article in The Washington Post that denoted Virginia Democratic Gubernatorial nominee Creigh Deeds was thrown under the bus by Team Obama,. This impact can will linger to in states that have an open seat Governor’s race.
This isn't a lede, it's a cry for help. Here Maichle isn't making a statement on the state of contemporary politics, he's admitting to his readers that he only now regrets spending his high school English classes wondering in vain how to get to second base with Sally Jenkins.

A link to the WaPo article would have been nice and just about any verb other than "denoted" would likely be an improvement.
The race for Virginia Governor was is an open seat race after since Tim Kaine was is term-limited under Virginia law. In 2010, 19 of the 39 governor’s races in 2010 will also be open seat races. 10 of these 19 states When looking at the 19 seats that are open, 10 of them were carried by Barack Obama in 2008.

The impact of the Deeds-Obama fallout will come down to one key factor impact the level of involvement the White House will be involved have in picking who will be on the ballot in these 19 states. As it was reported, by Obama Administration officials that they chided Deeds over for not fully utilizing the resources of the White House, and you can bet that the White House’s blessing will come first before the desires of state party chairmen in the critical 19 states on who to put in the ballot.

A key factor to look at is will be the approval rating of the President in key states like Michigan, Pennsylvania, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Kansas, and Minnesota.
OK, let's just hold on a minute. Oklahoma? Are you fucking kidding me? Oklahoma -- a state so conservative even the water is red?
In a handful of these states, [Which states? -- ed.] the President’s approval rating is below fifty percent. You can Expect the Obama Administration to be highly involved in these states so they can try to boost their approval rating numbers where they are lacking. During the Virginia Governor’s race, A key factor that Creigh Deeds battled, along with his lackluster campaigning style, is Obama’s approval rating being one of the lowest in the country according to SurveyUSA [Link? -- ed.].

Also, in some of these critical states that The Obama Administration will have greater involvement is states with very high unemployment rates. One example is Michigan, where the with its unemployment rate at is over 15 percent. However, The leading Democratic challenger in Michigan, Lt. Governor John Cherry, is not polling well against current Congressman Pete Hoekstra or Attorney General Mike Cox. When Looking at to a potential Mike Cox v. John Cherry match-up, an October 21st poll showed the Lieutenant Governor down fifteen points. [Link? -- ed.] Also expect, you can look at Team Obama putting to put resources into California, Nevada, Oregon, and Rhode Island, in which they were all carried for by Obama in 2008. However, These four states are in the top ten in the nation for unemployment rates along with Michigan. Given growing skepticism with the stimulus bill With how sketpical voters are growing about the Stimulus and with unemployment expected to stay above ten percent next year nationwide, these are governor’s seats Team Obama cannot afford to lose.

Basically, to throwing Creigh Deeds under the bus in Virginia shows that the Democrats are running nervous. In the 19 states that where governor’s races are open seats, the Obama Administration will exercise the most control in with who gets on the ballot and how the campaigns are managed. In simple terms, Rahm Emanuel and Barack Obama are calling the shots. This may motovaite [sic.] Republican, independent, and disaffected Democratic voters to vote against Obama in 2010.

This explains how the Deeds-Obama fallout has nationwide implications across the US in 2010. Lastly, don’t forget to join the North Shore Exponent for our Election Night its coverage of the New Jersey and Virginia Governor’s elections and the NY-23 special congressional election on November 3rd. Election coverage begins at 6:30 PM-EDT/5:30 PM-CDT, one half hour before the polls close in Virginia at 7PM-EDT. We will be on until we have winners in the key races, so please join us.
You're welcome.

As for the actual substance of Maichle's post, maybe we'll get to it later, maybe we won't. We'll see.


Zach W. said...

That was painful....almost as painful as reading that blog.

Remind me never to cross you, because I'd hate to have my blog ripped apart in the same manner.

Andy said...

If you're going to do an entry chastising somebody's grammar you need to get it right yourself.

From the third paragraph:

we've taken the liberty of editing his latest opus with an aim of maintaining as much of his own words as possible.

Should be "as many..."

Bare in mind...

"Bear in mind"

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