Headlines of the Damned

Today's edition of Headlines of the Damned is brought to you by MSNBC:

Or, as Film Drunk so directly puts it:

Kudos to MSNBC for not only reporting this delightful story, but for making the first three words of the headline the deliciously visual “Scratch Harry Baals.” Simply divine.

This has been another edition of Headlines of the Damned.

Headlines of the Damned

Today's edition of Headlines of the Damned is brought to you by the Kansas Leader & Times:

This has been another edition of Headlines of the Damned.

[via G]

(Possibly the Best) Headlines of the Damned (Ever)

Tonight's edition of Headlines of the Damned is brought to you by the Dublin Evening Herald:

This has been another edition of Headlines of the Damned.

[via FD]

Headlines of the Damned

Today's edition of Headlines of the Damned is brought to you by TMZ:

This has been another edition of Headlines of the Damned.

Guess the Brits Were Happy about their World Cup Draw

[via SbB]

Headlines of the Damned

Today's edition of Headlines of the Damned is brought to you by Reuters:


When did we start accepting cocaine as payment on import tariffs?

This has been another edition of Headlines of the Damned.

Headlines of the Damned

Today's edition of Headlines of the Damned has been brought to you by the New York Post:


This has been another edition of Headlines of the Damned.

[via Deadspin]

Headlines of the Damned

Today's edition of Headlines of the Damned is brought to you by the BBC:


This has been another edition of Headlines of the Damned.

Dept. of Awesome Freudian Slips: Tiger Crotches!!!

I think Kevin Binversie meant "crouches."

Headlines of the Damned

Today's edition of Headlines of the Damned is brought to you by FOX Sports (highlighted in green):


This has been another edition of Headlines of the Damned.

Headlines of the Damned

Today's edition of Headlines of the Damned is brought to you by CNBC:


This has been another edition of Headlines of the Damned.

[via Barry Ritholtz]

Headlines of the Damned

Today's edition of Headines of the Damned has been brought to you by the Times of London:


This has been another edition of Headlines of the Damned.

[via Deadspin]

Headlines of the Damned

Today's edition of Headlines of the Damned is brought to you by the AP:


This has been another edition of Headlines of the Damned.

[via Contentions -- see the previous post]

Headlines of the Damned

Today's edition of Headlines of the Damned is brought to you by the Fort Smith, Arkansas Times-Record:

This has been another edition of Headlines of the Damned.

[via EDSBS]

Headlines of the Damned

Today's edition of Headlines of the Damned has been brought to you by the Minneapolis Star-Tribune:

Police doubt they will ever find the poop on who soiled offices

This has been another edition of Headlines of the Damned.

[via Zach Patton]

Headlines of the Damned

Today's edition of Headlines of the Damned has been brought to you by Us Weekly:
This has been another edition of Headlines of the Damned.

Headlines of the Damned

Today's edition of Headlines of the Damned has been brought to you by China Daily:


This has been another edition of Headlines of the Damned.

Headlines of the Damned

Today's edition of Headlines of the Damned is brought to you by the Daily Record:

This has been another edition of Headlines of the Damned.

More Totally Kick Ass Spitzer-related Headlines

Is there no end in sight?

Eliot Spitzer: Screwed
Eliot Spitzer's Going Down
Head of Empire State Gets Head at Emporers Club

and

Clinton Yanks Spitzer Endorsement Faster Than a Hooker Yanks ... Well, You Get It

If it's simplicity you're looking for, than look no further:

Another Ridiculous Sex Scandal

Of course the gold standard in absurd headlines will come from the New York Post, for which we here at the Chief wait with bated breath.

MORE: It's not quite the NY Post cover, but it's just as illuminating:

How Do These Shits Get Their Wives To Come To The "I Am A Shit" Press Conference Anyway, And Other Marvels

MORE STILL: Gawker's got a trifecta of NYC tabloid covers for us over here in the fly-over states:
EVEN MORE: They just don't stop ...

MORE YET: It took roughly 24 hours for this story to get meta: Over 100 Spitzerfuckgate Headlines Analyzed.

The Greatest Headline. Ever.

Hands down:

Spitzer Swallows?

MORE: Mentzer's got more where that came from ...

There's simply no way of talking about this story without wading knee-deep in double entendre ... isn't it awesome?