Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Is this how Kevin Fischer Auditions Strippers?

In a review of -- I shit you not -- "Dancing with the Stars," Kevin Fischer oozes out the following with regards to a fellow Franklin blogger who did not treat a previous contestant with as much slobbering, erection-inducing deference as he did:
Evans' remarks were symbolic of a nation of women who, instead of cheering Presley's courage instead acted like cackling jealous hens.

My challenge to the petty Evans at the time stands. When she turns 62, I invite her to my house, we will move all the furniture, turn on the music, and she is more than welcome to tango, rumba, and do the splits in defiance of yours truly and Priscilla Presley.

[...]

Again, my living room is wide open to any and all jealous and petty school board members who foolishly think they can do better.
Go forth and read the whole thing. It's priceless on so many levels, containing such well-crafted passages as:
This season the ABC brass has brilliantly come up with a super female lineup that will draw in more male viewers.

Erin Andrews?

A guy faced being arrested to see her in the shower.

Pamela Anderson?

The world knows she can act. But can she dance? Inquiring minds want to know.

Apparently, the only thing a woman requires in this world to be desired by men is a prior stalking lawsuit... and act? Act? Obviously, Fischer has never seen "Barb Wire."

3 comments:

J. Stewie Prufrock said...

wow.
now there's a phrase for the millennia - it should be inserted somewhere where it will be immortalized. hmmm


Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:
Streets that follow like a tedious argument
Of insidious intent
Of slobbering, erection-inducing deference.


yep, I like it.
and there it shall stay. Stewie has decreed it.

Dave53132 said...

Thanks for posting on Franklin's resident blowhard! I wish more people were able to call this Limbaugh-wannabe on his crap.

Jb said...

Very well done, Stewie ...

Now I want a sonnet on what the American Dream means to you by the end of next week.