Rick Perry's Welcome Party

Has a presidential candidate ever walked headlong into an opposition research buzzsaw upon announcing his candidacy like Rick Perry has?

Perry made his announcement Saturday afternoon after weeks of telegraphing his intentions and in the last 72 hours there's been a torrent of research drops since. There's Perry and

• Gardisil

• the Trans-American Superhighway conspiracy

• Shitty college grades

• the Al Gore-supporter

• Jobs numbers

• Not well-liked by the House of Bush

• Crazy religious views

• is gay

• huge benefits to donors

Did I miss anything? Oh yeah,

• Executing the innocent man

Usually candidates get a few days of goodwill after their announcements, but that didn't happen with Perry. A lot of that probably has to do with Perry's late entry into the race and the fact that most people saw him entering months ago, but has their ever been anyone who had this much thrown at him all at once?

Obviously, this isn't going to be the end of it. There's more out there, not including the gaffes Perry has yet to make.

Perry is, as his native Texans have been known to say, all hat and no cattle. Sure, his Texas alpha male macho schtick might play south of the Red River, but it gets really old really quickly north of it.

MORE: Jesus, I just glanced at Memeorandum and found two more things Perry must contend with:

• Salty language and an upcoming book

• Barbaric boarder control policies (face it, Perry's insinuating the drones are armed)