Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Is Mitt Romney a Mormon or a Luddite?

Why doesn't he "write" (or in this case, "edit") his speeches on a keyboard like a normal Christian?

(Pictured above: the heathen Romney examines the runic incantations of the sorcerer's spell his minions have prepared for him to recite before the television cameras tomorrow.)

Seriously, the fact that Romney has to give a Mormon speech in 21st Century America is one of two things: 1.) embarrassing, or 2.) indicative of broader problems Romney has as a candidate -- and by that I mean GOP voters are transferring his inherent untrustability as a Massachusetts flip-flopper into suspicions about his religion (but for reasons that entirely escape me).

That being said, how's this for a wild scenario: Romney's speech bombs and sends his campaign into unrecoverable tailspin, Giuliani's woes continue to dog him and subsequently drag his nomination under, Huckabee's rise is halted by questions about how tough on crime he is and his national security credentials, while the Thompson campaign spends the next 6 weeks calling for their candidate with a team of bloodhounds in the Great Smokey Mountains ... Does all of that mean that John McCain might have a chance to slip through the wreckage and past the finish line in New Hampshire, thus giving him the momentum need to propel him to the nomination?

I don't know, but watching a four car pile-up just before the end of the race would be fucking awesome!