Tuesday, January 22, 2008

It Warms the Heart ...

As well as other parts of the body ... From Maxim:

Packer fans keep it steamy even in sub-zero temperatures.

Tonight's frigid NFC championship game was filled with hard-hitting action, nail-biting excitement and...bikinis?!?! Frostbite be damned, these girls stood by their team in the sexiest way possible, turning the Packer loss into our gain!

These girls were spotted in the third quarter and now we want to know who they are!

Do you know them, know someone who knows them? Send me their info and I'll get you more images!

[via DS & SbB]

Have No Fear: More Testicle-related Posts to Follow

Advance-Titan writer Max Davies test drives a codpiece ... hilarity ensues.

Headlines of the Damned

Today's edition of Headlines of the Damned has been brought to you by MSNBC:
PLUMMETING TEMPERATURES MEAN FROZEN BALLS ...

This has been another edition of Headlines of the Damned.

[via Deadspin]

Monday, January 21, 2008

Tom Brady Injured, Still Gets to Nail Supermodels

Folks, the next two weeks just got even longer ...

Limericks

I hope everyone has had a chance to read some of the truly inspired limericks that Andrew Sullivan has been posting lately. I couldn't help myself and submitted one of my own, which -- alas! -- did not make the cut. But if it isn't good enough for the esteemed (web) pages of the Atlantic, then it is surely appropriate for the readers of this humble blog, so here you go:

The Ballad of the GOP Also-rans

There once was a man named Tommy,
Who was neither a Rudy nor Romney.
Gaffed to Jews in a speech ,
And said Gays shouldn't teach,
Then blamed it on having to pee.

Then came a man called Tancredo,
Who did not care for Latinos.
Said, "I'll build a fence
To keep out the rest!"
Then ordered himself a burrito.

From God knows where came Alan Keyes,
Who said, "I can has debate, oh please?"
Thought he was being so slick,
But they said, "See ya, you prick!"
Then almost lost to Vermin Supreme.

Their campaigns all suffered concussions.
And their donors said, "That's it, we're done!"
But they had fun on the road
And to a few folks they told:
"At least we changed the discussion!"

Cloverfield

Haven't seen it yet, but have wanted to since watching the trailer before Transformers (Wait a second ... did the Chief just confess to going to see Transformers in the theater? Only on opening night!).

But this isn't a post about the movie so much as it is about America's foremost film critic, Neill Cumpston, who has seen Cloverfield and has his review up for all to see here. I actually haven't read it because I can't stand to read reviews before I see movies, but if it's anything like "Neill's" ground-breaking reviews of 300 and Grindhouse last year, then it is sure to be a classic work of probing analysis.

Does Romesh Ponnuru Read The Chief?

I don't want to speculate or anything ... I'm just saying he might.

Women Drivers

Now Soon to be available in Saudi Arabia.

Freedom is on the march in the Middle East!

CORRECTION: See FP

Off the Hook(ah)

A couple of weeks ago Patrick McIlheran lamented what a possible smoking ban would do to a hookah lounge in Sheboygan that seemed like a fine alternative for 18-20 year olds who can't acquire fake IDs.

I don't know how many hookah lounges there are in Wisconsin, but I'm going to guess there are considerably more in Turkey, which is also considering a smoking ban.

Solice

I'm still bumming for obvious reasons, but reading this made the residual feeling of ennui I'm suffering from today infinitely more tolerable:

Harley-Davidson Inc. officials announced Monday that Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band will be the headline act at the company's 105th anniversary event on Aug. 30 at Milwaukee's lakefront.

Hope springs eternal!

Rudy Death Watch: Day 11


Yikes ...

Rudy Giuliani's campaign doesn't just suck, it sucks something fierce:

[I]t's noteworthy just how awfully Rudy has fared in the lead-off contests. Last night, he finished with 2 percent of the vote in South Carolina, a state where he'd been running near the top of polls just a few months ago. And yesterday afternoon, he won just 1,910 votes in Nevada—good for four percent.

His best showing to date was in New Hampshire, where he nearly broke double-digits (9 percent). Between Iowa, New Hampshire, Michigan, Nevada and South Carolina he has managed to win just 60,212 votes—or 15,000 fewer than he received when he defeated Ron Lauder in the 1989 Republican mayoral primary. By contrast, Ron Paul—whom Giuliani has verbally battered in an effort to impress the G.O.P. base—has received 106,387 votes so far.

MORE: Here, here and here. And here's a chart showing his poll numbers for the last 7 months.

Move Along, Now! There's Nothing to See Here!


Jessica McBride continues her inevitably fruitless campaign to pin the Darshan Dhaliwal investigation on Gov. Doyle despite obvious ties to former Gov. Thompson.

I don't know what Dhaliwal's political leanings are, and, in fact, I don't care. People who contribute to campaigns across the political spectrum are not new. Dhaliwal's ties to Thompson, however, appear to be far more extensive and on a more intimate personal level than his ties to Doyle. That's a far more interesting story.

End of story.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Gentlemen, May the Force be with You

Miracle Me?

In order for me to die happy, I would like to attend the annual The World Economic Forum at Davos, which is going on this week. I would prefer to sit on a panel, but I will settle for complimentary all-access passes and a couple of tickets to the Google after-party.

Just in case anyone wanted to know.

Irony-free Zone Ahead

Let's just sit back for a second and marvel at the entrity of this post over at Real Debate Wisconsin:

Robosult

Camp Obama is complaining about a Robocall that used his middle name...

Why?

If you want to see how nasty Democrats are all you have to see is how they treat each other.

First of all, I think it's safe to assume that the title of the post should have been "Roboslut" and that the slut in question here is Hillary Clinton. Slut's not a kind word -- and while I certainly have heard it used as a term of endearment when used between very close friends (usually in an ironic way), I don't think that anyone at RDW knows Clinton well enough to use it in this manner.

But this post is not just a cheap shot at a presidential candidate. No, sir -- this is a penetrating comparative look at the "meanness" of our major political parties. In this case Democrats are "nasty" because they treat each other so disrespectfully that they use their opponents middle name in their attack robocalls. Now, we all know what those calls are getting at, there's no need to spell it out. But, I can assure you that the Obama camp was aware this was going to be an issue when they signed on to this fantastic voyage. I understand why his supporters are pissed -- I'm pissed, too -- but there are two sides to this strategy: the first is everything that is implied through the use of Obama's middle name; the second is the inescapable fact that that's actually his middle name. If his middle name was Poindexter, I would use that in robocalls.

But all of that is really immaterial to the breath-taking foolishness of the final sentence of this post:

If you want to see how nasty Democrats are all you have to see is how they treat each other.

This nugget of wisdom from a post that starts off calling a member of the opposite persuasion a "slut" ...

I'm angry that the recent Democratic debate has even drifted into the vicinity of race and gender. I don't care what was said or how bad it can be interpreted -- I'm angry that the campaigns so much as even thought to move in that direction at all. But things could be a lot worse ... like, say, one GOP candidate calling another member of his party a traitor and a Viet Cong collaborator.

So remind me, now: how are we supposed to judge how nasty political parties can get again?

Dave Eggers in the NYT

The McSweeny's impresario writes about the election.

Friday, January 18, 2008

That Galileo Dude Sure Got What Was Coming to Him!

Dad29 cherry-picks history and science to make the stupidest fucking argument of the month.

Weekend Link Orgy

* Proof that good-looking people can pretty much do nothing and still be loved by all.

* Poetic Justice: Former Sec. of Homeland Security gets stopped by TSA all the time. "They think I'm a plant." The Chief has no pity.

* When special interest groups collide: burgeoning multi-billion dollar industry vs. irrelevant prudes. Two men enter. One man leaves.

* Why's the Packer-Giants game is going to be played at night? Snow = ratings.

* Racine residents: If you're not interested in those fetuses WRL sent you this week, Wonkette will totally take them off your hands.

* The party warned you, Florida and Michigan, not to mess with the primary calender ...

* Ah, the perils of politicking in Nevada: "When the porn convention came to town everybody knew," Parker explains. "When the election is the next week -- and there was a debate -- nobody knows." On the other hand, I think there is obviously a solution to enhancing voter turnout somewhere wrapped in that quote.

* The Russians are trying to contact aliens ... the intergalactic kind.

* Sweet, Jesus, this could be the funniest thing, maybe ever:
Comic superstar Will Ferrell is preparing to run for president — as part of a one-man show he’s looking to take to Broadway later this year.

According to the star of “Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy,” “Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby” and the upcoming basketball comedy “Semi-Pro,” he’ll create a new character and give a stump speech, take questions from the audience and even show some political commercials that should poke fun at the entire campaigning process.

Homey Don't Play That

Take a look at the airport formerly known as Area 51.

Bobby Fischer

Dead at 64.


Of all the commentaries dispensed today I prefer Gabriel Schoenfeld's:

Anti-Semitism has been likened to a disease in the way it sometimes infects entire societies, and it is indeed a suitable metaphor to describe that phenomenon. But when applied to individual anti-Semites, the disease metaphor has the defect of removing responsibility for evil words and actions. But in Fischer’s case, as was made plain by so much else about him, his anti-Semitism truly was the consequence of disease.

Thanks to Bobby Fischer’s illness, the public has absorbed the idea that great chessplayers tend to be madmen. And while there have been several deranged grandmasters, it is doubtful that the frequency of mental illness in this group is higher than the average rate among geniuses. In the end, Bobby Fischer deserves to be remembered for his contributions, even if those contributions were seriously marred by the disrepute he brought upon the game of chess.

Immigrants: Not Just for Food-Picking Anymore!

What's more American than the cowboy? Not much, right? And what's more cowboy-esque than a rodeo? Well, if the answer isn't cowboy boot sideburns ("great for formal occasions and first dates"), than I don't know what is.

Regardless, rodeos in Texas appear to be having a difficult time fielding the support staffs needed to put such events together because there are no longer enough temporary worker visas to go around.

Call me crazy, but when faced with such a dilemma, wouldn't you imagine that, after a while, the rodeo producers would just stop worrying about immigration paperwork all together and just hire whomever walked in the door, no questions asked, rather than go out of business?

"George Costanza to be the new traveling secretary for the Packers"

OK, WLUK ... Eli Manning ... Seinfeld ... yadda yadda yadda.

Cute? Sure, why not ... but you knew there'd be a response: screwing with Seinfeld in New York is not unlike screwing with the Packers in Green Bay:

After reports that the manager of a TV station in Green Bay, Wisconsin, will yank Eli Manning's favorite show, Seinfeld, from the airwaves while the Giants are in town to play the Packers, the Post talked Jerry Seinfeld himself into sending the Giants quarterback a complete DVD set. Seinfeld said he'd also be "dispatching George Costanza to be the new traveling secretary for the Packers." (Those of you who are fans of the show will get the reference.)

May I suggest that we quit while we're ahead? Getting into a battle of wits with New Yorkers in a no-win proposition for most Wisconsinites, especially when Jerry Seinfeld is their lead-off hitter (remember, Gotham picked up the staff of the Onion via free agency several years ago). We can probably make a New Yorker cry through the sheer force of our kindness alone ... We can certainly drink them under the table ... And, obviously, we can beat them to a bloody pulp on the football field ... But before we start letting this weekend get to our collective head, let's just awknowledge that Green Bay will never be funnier than New York.

Don't tempt fate.

MORE: Then again, maybe it's not something we have to worry about.