Saturday, October 31, 2009

Now Hoffman NEEDS to Win UPDATED: Fuck It, this Race is Just Waaaaaaayyyy too Bizarre to Mean Anything in the Larger Context

Because there will no acceptable excuses if he loses.

And here's cold water on Hoffman's hot streak: From Nate Silver:
Certainly, it would seem to help Hoffman if Scozzafava decided to endorse him -- but only 15 percent of Scozzafava's voters had a favorable view of Hoffman, so they aren't going to come over easily, if at all.
More here.

The number that sticks out for me is that the undecided vote has consistently hoovered around 20%. That seems odd for all the attention that the campaign has gotten. One would imagine that voters would have made up their minds by now, but that doesn't seem to be the case for a lot of them.

One of the reasons for this could be that Hoffman doesn't seem to be lighting the world on fire:
He showed up for just one debate, citing scheduling conflicts on other occasions. In an interview with the editorial board of my old employer, the Watertown Daily Times, Hoffman was asked about a new super-highway that had been proposed years ago for the district but needs federal funding. No opinion. Where did he stand on the controversial idea of dredging the St. Lawrence River, which forms the district's border with Canada? No comment. A subsequent editorial in the Daily Times described Hoffman as "flustered and ill at ease" and said he "showed no grasp of the bread-and-butter issues pertinent to district residents." It didn't help that Hoffman brought along former House majority leader (and staunch conservative) Dick Armey with him to the editorial board meeting — Armey called the local issues "parochial" and said the editorial board ambushed his candidate. Hoffman also says he opposes pork-barrel spending, the kind of federal cash infusions a rural, economically depressed, military-heavy area like the North Country depends on.
Right now it's all Hoffman's game to lose and chances are he won't, just don't be surprised if he actually does.

[via Memeorandum]

MORE: Interesting... I'm not inclined to believe that newspaper endorsements influence people, but they can serve as an interesting gauge of how well candidates are able to make their sales pitches. Apparently the Hoffman/Watertown Daily Times interview went as poorly as described above:

Mr. Hoffman is running as an ideologue. If he carries out his pledges on earmarks, taxation, labor law reform and other inflexible positions, Northern New York will suffer. This rural district depends on the federal government for an investment in Fort Drum and its soldiers, environmental protection of our international waterway and the Adirondack Park, and the livelihood of all our dairy farmers across the district, among other support. Our representative cannot be locked into rigid promises and policies that would jeopardize these critical sectors of our economy.

[...]

It is frightening that Mr. Hoffman is so beholden to right-wing ideologues who dismiss Northern New Yorkers as parochial when people here simply want to know how Mr. Hoffman will protect their interests in Washington.

MORE STILL: Jesus, this is just too weird...

EVEN MORE: See what I mean?

Friday, October 30, 2009

"THERE'S A SEX TAPE!!!!!" and Other Absurd Aspects of Bader's "Scoop"

Newspapers covering the Jerry Bader suspension have an odd dilemma on their hands: they obviously don't want to repeat the rumor that Bader broke on the radio, yet at the same time the original "scoop" is a rather significant detail of the story. I don't begrudge editors erring on the side of caution in this case, but I do think it's important to examine just what Bader reported. To understand why, just look at some of the reader comments in the GB PG article -- some of these poor folks have absolutely no idea what was said and are talking about FCC restrictions and other things that are utterly not part of the story.

So sometimes not explaining a story adequately just creates further confusion -- who knew?

I don't think there's anything wrong with repeating the accusations Bader originally made. Not doing so seems to accomplish little more than whitewashing the incident. We all know now that the story was completely false on an utterly absurd level, so repeating what was said shouldn't reflect poorly on Lawton.

But it should reflect poorly on Bader.

So in that spirit, let's take a closer look at just what Bader said on the air, becaus it really was quite shocking and extraordinary. This is the text of the radio report he said on the air, not his blog post (which has since been deleted):
Good afternoon, this is Jerry Bader with a "Bonus Listen." This is a follow up to a story breaking in Wisconsin today, Lieutenant governor Barabra Lawton announcing that she will not be a candidate for the Democratic nomination for Governor: This bombshell dropped about 11:00 this morning. She said for very personal reasons.

I've been working the phones all day Here's what I can tell you: I am reporting this factually.
We talked about this yesterday, but right here Bader is taking off his "commentator" hat and putting on his "reporter" chapeau in no uncertain terms.
It has been a somewhat open secret in Madison for years that Barbara Lawton has an open marriage ...
Accusation 1.) The Lt. Gov. is a swinger.

Let's not pull any punches here. That's what Bader was saying. This sends one's imagination to a number of, well, evocative places (hey, we've seen The Ice Storm -- which sucked, by the way). There's a lurid hint of kink to this accusation beyond the broader notion that the accused has no respect for an institution that most people feel quite strongly about.

And it only gets better!
...and that those relationships she has within the marriage are with other women.
Accusation 2.) The Lt. Gov. is a lesbian swinger.

Cue the gay panic!

One of the things that Bader's "report" does an exceptional job of accomplishing is enhancing Lawton's "otherness" with every detail and arranging them such that each new element is more astonishing than the one before it. Give the guy some credit: it's great story-telling and magnificent communications work -- it's just entirely false.
This has not been a tightly kept secret, it has been known more than in her inner circle.
There's something between the suggestion that Lawton flaunts a disregard for conventional mores and institutions and the insinuation of exhibitionism going on here, but I can't put my finger on it. "Secret" usually connotes a sense of shame ... "open secrets" are weird concepts that deserve far more discussion than should be allowed here. Make of this what you will.
I have learned that somebody was about to expose at least one of those relationships. What I am told from sources is a scorned lover ...
Accusation 3.) "Scorned lover" is essentially a euphemism for "dates crazy people."

It also reinforces the polyamory angle of this whole twisted tale.
... and the phrase that I heard is "attached to the building," in their words, a member of the Doyle administration or a staffer of the Doyle administration, a woman, had a relationship with Lawton, she is scorned, and she was going to expose that relationship.
Accusation 4.) Professional Misconduct

Here Bader moves Lawton's "affair" out of the bedroom and into her elected Office. "Attached to the building" could mean just about anything. It could be a Doyle staffer or admin member ... it could be a legislative staffer or a lobbyist or a even a journalist, but Bader makes the leap that the phrase connotes professional misconduct.

And now for the denouement:
I have been told that she had visual evidence of that relationship.
Accusation 5.) THERE'S A SEX TAPE!!!!

"Visual evidence" -- what else could that mean?

This, incidentally, is the most ridiculous part of Bader's yarn. If there was "visual evidence," why was there no attempt to locate it? This would appear to be the linchpin of the entire story. If Bader could have gotten a hold of said "evidence" then he would have the scoop of the century. If he couldn't track it down, then that's a pretty good indication that he's on a wild goose chase.
Again, this comes from a number of sources in Madison and I am reporting factually that it is a lover scorned.

Again, I am reporting factually that these are the reasons that Barbara Lawton is not running for Governor, that she has had a gay relationship with a woman who is described as attached to the building that would mean a staffer.

Obviously this would raise sexual harassment issues.
Accusation 6.) Sexual Harassment and Abuse of power

And here we have arrived at the crux of the story! What started out as a juicy personal story is now a story about abuses of power and public trust.
Again, this coming at 11:00 this morning -- shocking both sides of the political aisle Barbara Lawton's announcement, nobody saw it coming, she described it as for very personal reasons. Again this comes from multiple sources in Madison. More to come on the show and throughout the day on FaceBook and Twitter and at WTAQ.com.
Again, absolutely none of this turned out to be true.

Just look at the whole package above -- anyone one of these accusations would be enough to send a reasonable person through the roof. Bader wrapped all of them up into one absurd package and delivered it to his listeners. Bader may as well have claimed -- excuse me, "reported factually" -- that Lawton was abducted by aliens, fitted with a mind-control chip in her brain, and is doing the bidding extraterrestrials.

If something like this happened in a print publication everyone from the reporter to the editors would be fired instantly.

The two week suspension doesn't exactly come as much of a surprise. It's WTAQ's way of saying "He can stay if this thing blows over after two weeks." You don't get your credibility back after such an enormous fuck-up and there's no shortage of talent trying to break in to the radio business, so WTAQ is going to have to weigh just how damaged Bader's brand is with its ability to cultivate a replacement quickly.

Just to look at things from his perspective, Bader's in an almost impossible situation here. He could essentially rectify this whole situation by hanging his "sources" out to dry and naming them publically, but doing so would ensure that no one ever speaks to him again. It's an unenviable Catch-22 to be trapped in. Nevertheless, we're having a hard time sympathizing.

The quicker this thing goes away, the more likely Bader gets back on the air. Depending on what you think the responsible resolution to this mess that Bader and Bader alone brought on himself, adjust your outrage accordingly.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Who's the Next Doug Hoffman?

David Ryon, perhaps?
In Ohio’s 16th District, Republicans have been excited that state Senator Steve Stivers is seeking a rematch against Rep. Mary Jo Kilroy. But Ron Paul-supporter David Ryon just announced he was dropping out of the GOP primary in order to run in the general election as the Constitution Party nominee. Why? Because Stivers is pro-choice. “The lines between the two major parties have become blurred to the point they represent the left and right wings of the same party,” Ryon said.
At some point conservatives should seriously start to consider just forming a third party. I doubt they're at that point yet, but being a coalition of minor regional fringe parties isn't a very efficient use of their collective resources.

"THERE'S A SEX TAPE!!!!!" and Other Absurd Aspects of Bader's "Scoop"

Newspapers covering the Jerry Bader suspension have an odd dilemma on their hands: they obviously don't want to repeat the rumor that Bader broke on the radio, yet at the same time the original "scoop" is a rather significant detail of the story. I don't begrudge editors erring on the side of caution in this case, but I do think it's important to examine just what Bader reported. To understand why, just look at some of the reader comments in the GB PG article -- some of these poor folks have absolutely no idea what was said and are talking about FCC restrictions and other things that are utterly not part of the story.

So sometimes not explaining a story adequately just creates further confusion.

I don't think there's anything wrong with repeating the accusations Bader originally made. This seems to accomplish little more than whitewashing the incident. We all know now that the story was completely false on an utterly absurd level, so repeating what was said shouldn't reflect poorly on Lawton.

But it should reflect poorly on Bader.

So in that spirit, let's take a closer look at just what Bader said on the air, becaus it really was quite shocking and extraordinary. This is the text of the radio report he said on the air, not his blog post (which has since been deleted):
Good afternoon, this is Jerry Bader with a "Bonus Listen." This is a follow up to a story breaking in Wisconsin today, Lieutenant governor Barabra Lawton announcing that she will not be a candidate for the Democratic nomination for Governor: This bombshell dropped about 11:00 this morning. She said for very personal reasons.

I've been working the phones all day Here's what I can tell you: I am reporting this factually.
We talked about this yesterday, but right here Bader is taking off his "commentator" hat and putting on his "reporter" chapeau in no uncertain terms.
It has been a somewhat open secret in Madison for years that Barbara Lawton has an open marriage ...
Accusation 1.) The Lt. Gov. is a swinger.

Let's not pull any punches here. That's what Bader was saying. This sends one's imagination to a number of, well, evocative places (hey, we've seen The Ice Storm -- which sucked, by the way). There's a lurid hint of kink to this accusation beyond the broader notion that the accused has no respect for an institution that most people feel quite strongly about.

And it only gets better!
...and that those relationships she has within the marriage are with other women.
Accusation 2.) The Lt. Gov. is a lesbian swinger.

Cue the gay panic!

One of the things that Bader's "report" does an exceptional job of accomplishing is enhancing Lawton's "otherness" with every detail and arranging them such that each new element is more astonishing than the one before it. Give the guy some credit: it's great story-telling and magnificent communications work -- it's just entirely false.
This has not been a tightly kept secret, it has been known more than in her inner circle.
There's something between the suggestion that Lawton flaunts a disregard for conventional mores and institutions and the insinuation of exhibitionism going on here, but I can't put my finger on it. "Secret" usually connotes a sense of shame ... "open secrets" are weird concepts that deserve far more discussion than should be allowed here. Make of this what you will.
I have learned that somebody was about to expose at least one of those relationships. What I am told from sources is a scorned lover ...
Accusation 3.) "Scorned lover" is essentially a euphemism for "dates crazy people."

It also reinforces the polyamory angle of this whole twisted tale.
... and the phrase that I heard is "attached to the building," in their words, a member of the Doyle administration or a staffer of the Doyle administration, a woman, had a relationship with Lawton, she is scorned, and she was going to expose that relationship.
Accusation 4.) Professional Misconduct

Here Bader moves Lawton's "affair" out of the bedroom and into her elected Office. "Attached to the building" could mean just about anything. It could be a Doyle staffer or admin member ... it could be a legislative staffer or a lobbyist or a even a journalist. Bader makes the leap that it phrase connotes professional misconduct.

And now for the denouement:
I have been told that she had visual evidence of that relationship.
Accusation 5.) THERE'S A SEX TAPE!!!!

"Visual evidence" -- what else could that mean?

This, incidentally, is the most ridiculous part of Bader's yarn. If there was "visual evidence," why was there no attempt to locate it? This would appear to be the linchpin of the entire story. If Bader could have gotten a hold of said "evidence" then he would have the scoop of the century. If he couldn't track it down, then that's a pretty good indication that he's on a wild goose chase.
Again, this comes from a number of sources in Madison and I am reporting factually that it is a lover scorned.

Again, I am reporting factually that these are the reasons that Barbara Lawton is not running for Governor, that she has had a gay relationship with a woman who is described as attached to the building that would mean a staffer.

Obviously this would raise sexual harassment issues.
Accusation 5.) Sexual Harassment and Abuse of power

And here we have arrived at the crux of the story! What started out as a juicy personal story is now a story about abuses of power and public trust.
Again, this coming at 11:00 this morning -- shocking both sides of the political aisle Barbara Lawton's announcement, nobody saw it coming, she described it as for very personal reasons. Again this comes from multiple sources in Madison. More to come on the show and throughout the day on FaceBook and Twitter and at WTAQ.com.
Again, absolutely none of this turned out to be true.

Just look at the whole package above -- anyone one of these accusations would be enough to send a reasonable person through the roof. Bader wrapped all of them up into one absurd package and delivered it to his listeners. Bader may as well have claimed -- excuse me, "reported factually" -- that Lawton was abducted by aliens, fitted with a mind-control chip in her brain, and is doing the bidding extraterrestrials.

If something like this happened in a print publication everyone from the reporter to the editors would be fired instantly.

The two week suspension doesn't exactly come as much of a surprise. It's WTAQ's way of saying "He can stay if this thing blows over after two weeks." You don't get your credibility back after such an enormous fuck-up and there's no shortage of talent trying to break in to the radio business, so WTAQ is going to have to weigh just how damaged Bader's brand is with its ability to cultivate a replacement quickly.

Just to look at things from his perspective, Bader's in an almost impossible situation here. He could essentially rectify this whole situation by hanging his "sources" out to dry and naming them publicly, but doing so would ensure that no ever speaks to him again. It's an unenviable Catch-22 to be trapped in. Nevertheless, we're having a hard time sympathizing.

The quicker this thing goes away, the more likely Bader gets back on the air. Depending on what you think the responsible resolution to this mess that Bader and Bader alone brought on himself, adjust your outrage accordingly.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

The Literary Offenses of Kyle Maichle (With Apologies to Mark Twain)

I don't ask much from bloggers, but one thing I absolutely demand is a basic acquaintance with grammar. I'm not talking about the finely honed skills of a black belt grammarian, just a causal familiarity with the basics. Now, I usually give a lot of leeway to bloggers, because speed kills online and it's extremely difficult to edit one's own material, but, please for the love of all that's holy, is it too much to ask of someone to know how to use a preposition?

Kyle Maichle apparently does not have such concerns. This kid is in dire need of an editor. Take, for example, his post today. Putting aside, for a moment, that I find his opinion only makes sense in the context of heavy peyote use, just look at how awfully it's written. I have known high school sophomores with a better command of the English language. Every time this kid gets behind a keyboard he may as well be kicking the adorable puppies of America's English teachers.

The thought had crossed our minds to reprise Mark Twain's wonderful example of colleague criticism, but no one's that good. Instead, to help young Kyle out, we've taken the liberty of editing his latest opus with an aim of maintaining as much of his own words as possible. Our corrections are in red, everything else comes from Maichle. Bare in mind that we aren't trying to rewrite these sentences, just clean them up.
Since Last Friday’s front-page article in The Washington Post that denoted Virginia Democratic Gubernatorial nominee Creigh Deeds was thrown under the bus by Team Obama,. This impact can will linger to in states that have an open seat Governor’s race.
This isn't a lede, it's a cry for help. Here Maichle isn't making a statement on the state of contemporary politics, he's admitting to his readers that he only now regrets spending his high school English classes wondering in vain how to get to second base with Sally Jenkins.

A link to the WaPo article would have been nice and just about any verb other than "denoted" would likely be an improvement.
The race for Virginia Governor was is an open seat race after since Tim Kaine was is term-limited under Virginia law. In 2010, 19 of the 39 governor’s races in 2010 will also be open seat races. 10 of these 19 states When looking at the 19 seats that are open, 10 of them were carried by Barack Obama in 2008.

The impact of the Deeds-Obama fallout will come down to one key factor impact the level of involvement the White House will be involved have in picking who will be on the ballot in these 19 states. As it was reported, by Obama Administration officials that they chided Deeds over for not fully utilizing the resources of the White House, and you can bet that the White House’s blessing will come first before the desires of state party chairmen in the critical 19 states on who to put in the ballot.

A key factor to look at is will be the approval rating of the President in key states like Michigan, Pennsylvania, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Kansas, and Minnesota.
OK, let's just hold on a minute. Oklahoma? Are you fucking kidding me? Oklahoma -- a state so conservative even the water is red?
In a handful of these states, [Which states? -- ed.] the President’s approval rating is below fifty percent. You can Expect the Obama Administration to be highly involved in these states so they can try to boost their approval rating numbers where they are lacking. During the Virginia Governor’s race, A key factor that Creigh Deeds battled, along with his lackluster campaigning style, is Obama’s approval rating being one of the lowest in the country according to SurveyUSA [Link? -- ed.].

Also, in some of these critical states that The Obama Administration will have greater involvement is states with very high unemployment rates. One example is Michigan, where the with its unemployment rate at is over 15 percent. However, The leading Democratic challenger in Michigan, Lt. Governor John Cherry, is not polling well against current Congressman Pete Hoekstra or Attorney General Mike Cox. When Looking at to a potential Mike Cox v. John Cherry match-up, an October 21st poll showed the Lieutenant Governor down fifteen points. [Link? -- ed.] Also expect, you can look at Team Obama putting to put resources into California, Nevada, Oregon, and Rhode Island, in which they were all carried for by Obama in 2008. However, These four states are in the top ten in the nation for unemployment rates along with Michigan. Given growing skepticism with the stimulus bill With how sketpical voters are growing about the Stimulus and with unemployment expected to stay above ten percent next year nationwide, these are governor’s seats Team Obama cannot afford to lose.

Basically, to throwing Creigh Deeds under the bus in Virginia shows that the Democrats are running nervous. In the 19 states that where governor’s races are open seats, the Obama Administration will exercise the most control in with who gets on the ballot and how the campaigns are managed. In simple terms, Rahm Emanuel and Barack Obama are calling the shots. This may motovaite [sic.] Republican, independent, and disaffected Democratic voters to vote against Obama in 2010.

This explains how the Deeds-Obama fallout has nationwide implications across the US in 2010. Lastly, don’t forget to join the North Shore Exponent for our Election Night its coverage of the New Jersey and Virginia Governor’s elections and the NY-23 special congressional election on November 3rd. Election coverage begins at 6:30 PM-EDT/5:30 PM-CDT, one half hour before the polls close in Virginia at 7PM-EDT. We will be on until we have winners in the key races, so please join us.
You're welcome.

As for the actual substance of Maichle's post, maybe we'll get to it later, maybe we won't. We'll see.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Lawton, Bader and the Inevitable Clusterfuck Just Waiting to Show up in a Courtroom Near You

Bravo, Jerry Bader, you truly are an epic fuck up of monumental proportions!

I have to admit that the salacious details of Bader's "scoop" yesterday were just too tantalizing to ignore outright at first, but it didn't take long for us to recall the adage that if something is too good to be true, it probably isn't. Then we actually listened to Bader's "Bonus Listen" and had a pretty good feeling this was all just a ton of bullshit.

Here's the text of the audio. All the emphases below have been added:
Good afternoon, this is Jerry Bader with a "Bonus Listen." This is a follow up to a story breaking in Wisconsin today, Lieutenant governor Barabra Lawton announcing that she will not be a candidate for the Democratic nomination for Governor: This bombshell dropped about 11:00 this morning. She said for very personal reasons.

I've been working the phones all day Here's what I can tell you: I am reporting this factually.

It has been a somewhat open secret in Madison for years that Barbara Lawton has an open marriage and that those relationships she has within the marriage are with other women. This has not been a tightly kept secret, it has been known more than in her inner circle.

I have learned that somebody was about to expose at least one of those relationships. What I am told from sources is a scorned lover -- and the phrase that I heard is "attatched to the building," in their words, a member of the Doyle administration or a staffer of the Doyle administration, a woman, had a relationship with Lawton, she is scorned, and she was going to expose that relationship.

I have been told that she had visual evidence of that relationship. Again, this comes from a number of sources in Madison and I am reporting factually that it is a lover scorned.

Again, I am reporting factually that these are the reasons that Barbara Lawton is not running for Governor, that she has had a gay relationship with a woman who is described as attatched to the building that would mean a staffer.

Obviously this would raise sexual harrassment issues.

Again, this coming at 11:00 this morning -- shocking both sides of the political aisle Barbara Lawton's announcement, nobody saw it coming, she described it as for very personal reasons. Again this comes from multiple sources in Madison. More to come on the show and throughout the day on FaceBook and Twitter and at WTAQ.com.
We couldn't escape Bader's repeated use of the word "factually" throughout his report. Bader could have just said that he heard from reliable sources that so forth, etc. Instead he ascribed factual certainty to his claim -- not once, not twice, but three separate times during his report! No lawyer in his or her right mind would have signed off on that type of language, which likely meant it was not properly vetted. If a legal team didn't look at it, then chances are neither did a fact-checker. There's also no indication that Bader sought a comment from Lawton or her staff, something that would absolutely be required by "actual" journalists when breaking a story of this nature.

Bader's half-ass "correction" is no less asinine, but not for legal or journalistic reasons. It's just a cop out:

11:23 AM STATEMENT FROM JERRY BADER CONCERNING THE BARBARA LAWTON STORY:

I HAVE LOST CONFIDENCE IN THE SOURCES THAT PROVIDED INFORMATION YESTERDAY REGARDING LT. GOV BARBARA LAWTON. THEREFORE I CANNOT STAND BY THE STORY POSTED YESTERDAY.

(use of obnoxious caps in the original)
After you fuck up this royally, you issue a public and personal apology to the person you just slandered. You beg for forgiveness, not shift blame to the credibility of your sources. Yesterday Bader's Blog was bragging about how he had the best Democratic sources of any conservative talk radio host in Wisconsin, but today it's all his sources fault. Bullshit: this is entirely Bader's mess and he would be well-served to own it.

Lawton has every right to be as pissed as she sounds, and if I were the WTAQ management I wouldn't just fire Bader, I would stick his head on a pike and present it to Lawton on a silver plater and hope to God she doesn't include WTAQ in the inevitable legal preceding.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Where All the Ladies At?

Well, so much for going out on a limb...

Forget the "who's in, who's out" story line -- the real news appears to be that there will likely not be primaries in either party next year. That could mean a protracted general election, depending on how and when the eventual candidates choose to start going after each other.

In other words, it's going to be a very long summer.

We're not surprised that Walker's supporters are putting on a happy face at this development, but, really, this isn't good news for them. If Barrett does jump in, he has the full faith and backing of the White House. If Dick Leinenkugel is tapped to wear the mantle, he has name recognition that can't be bought in Wisconsin. Neither opponent is one Walker should prefer to run against if Lawton were the alternative.

Now, back to the original prediction. While I may have been wrong about a woman finally occupying the Governor's mansion, there's still little doubt that women will decide who the next Governor is. If 2010 is just like 2006 in terms of turnout and the demographics of the electorate, then it's possible for the next Governor of Wisconsin to lose the male vote by as much as 12.8% and still win the election so long as he wins women by just one vote. That's a figure that should send panic through the hearts of Walker headquarters.

MORE: Take it away, Ms. Rosenberg.

MORE STILL: So it only took hours for the Walker campaign to switch from the "Doyle-Lawton record" to the "Doyle-Barrett plan" -- way to not skip a beat!

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Moderate Republicans Aren't the Reason the GOP has been Losing Congressional Elections, Conservative Republicans Are

Here's a variation of line I've been reading a lot lately:
We have already suffered huge losses because of liberal Republicans why put up with any more? [sic.]
The problem with statements like this is that the evidence doesn't suggest this conclusion at all.

Between 2006 and 2008, 39 House Republicans lost bids for reelection (at least in general elections, a couple were primaried). Four of those races can be considered outliers due to abnormal circumstances: Mark Foley, Bob Nye, Tom DeLay (big time scandals) and Henry Bonilla (crazy redistricting). That leaves a decent pool of 35 GOP House loses to look at.

Of those losing incumbents, 15 had lifetime ratings of 90 or higher (out of 100) from the American Conservative Union (here are the 2006 figures, here are the 2008 numbers). Eight more had ratings of 80+. (If Wisconsin readers need a gauge from which to work, Rep. Jim Sensenbrenner has a rating of 88.). That means about 65% of the GOP congressional incumbents voters told to take a hike during the last two election cycles could be described by at least one measure as being "reliably" conservative, while about half could be classified as "very" conservative.

I'll be the first to admit that this isn't a very scientific way of looking at things. Nearly all of the races GOP incumbents lost in 2006 involved candidates that were tainted by some kind of personal or professional scandal, questions about temperament or some other kind of local issue upon which House races have been known to swing. Still, it's hard to look at these numbers and come to the conclusion that the GOP isn't winning because it isn't conservative enough. In fact, if one only had these figures to work with and none of the pesky electoral context, it would be very difficult to conclude that that key to winning elections would be to demand more cowbell from conservatives.

Just something to consider the next time you hear the Tea bagging brigade going off on the whole Doug Hoffman thing.

[The names of these Congressmen, their home states and individual ACU ratings are included in the comments section (the list was too unwieldy to include on the main page).]

Friday, October 23, 2009

First Wisconsin Bank of 2009 Closes*

Bank of Elmwood goes under, along with six others around the country.

* MORE: Wow, it totally didn't occur to me at the time, but the title could be read as an inference that the financial institution known as First Wisconsin Bank was doing the closing.

It isn't.

My bad.

How Does a College Football Team Lose Twice in One Day?

By coming out $550,000 ahead, that's how.

Ronald Reagan's 11th Commandment Now Optional

Can we now admit that conservatives have been reduced to just cherry-picking his advice to them?

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Let the Shit Show Begin!

Palin backs Hoffman in NY-23!

We were hesitant to do so earlier, but I think now would be a good time to bring up the possibility of Palin running as a third party candidate or independent in 2012.

In fact, we think this is the only way she can mount a serious run for the White House, but we'll have more to say about that when we're not about to pass out on the couch.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Homework

If you didn't see Frontline last night -- and chances are you didn't -- go watch the whole episode here.

Then read this Times piece on the brush-off Paul Volcker appears to be getting and note how eerily similar it is to the treatment Brooksley Born received in the aforementioned Frontline episode.

Next, consider the superficiality of this action by the White House in comparison to the actual problem of poorly regulated financial institutions.

Finally, let Nate Silver explain why this is all a big deal.

[We'll probably go into more depth over the Frontline thing later -- there are two absolutely riveting and dramatic moments in the episode that are certainly worthy of more discussion.]

Arguably the Best Cable News Intro Graphic You'll See this Year


[via ANY]

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

This One Time at Blog Camp ...

Dude, I can handle your homoerotic obsession with Mike Tate, but shit like this has got to go:

I have now made Zach and some of SE Wisconsin’s liberal elite bloggers nervous now. That’s what happens when I get trained at bloggers conferences across the nation and bring these tricks back to Wisconsin.

[...]

I don’t go to conservative bloggers conferences across the nation for nothing. I go to them to be better.

This is What Passes as Humor for Wisconsin Conservatives?

Yeah, this qualifies as offensive:

And conservatives wonder why Latinos vote for Democrats?

The Chief's Inaugural Not-so-Blind Item

What has two thumbs, is a notorious local asshole, runs the shittiest law firm in Oshkosh and whose soul is blacker than the ace of spades?

This guy.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Sarah Palin to Cancel on Appearance in Wisconsin!!!

Her record on these things isn't so good...

But...
Palin's stop in Milwaukee comes 11 days before the former Alaska governor's memoirs will be released.
That could mean she's hired a functional publicist who can schedule an actual book tour. 11 days is a good time hit a place like Milwaukee during the run up to the major media markets.

Only one way to find out!

Sunday, October 18, 2009

What's Next? Putting Andrew Dice Clay in Charge of Health Care Policy and Appointing Gallagher Secretary of Agriculture?

Remember this bit from George Carlin:

Evidently, Hugo Chavez wasn't in on the fact that he was just joking.

Radio Daze

/Nelson Muntz Haa-ha:

Suppose an agent arrived in the offices of Limbaugh/Beck/Hannity/O’Reilly etc. with an offer. “I can guarantee you a deal that will pay you twice as much - bring you twice as much fame - and extend your career twice as long - if you’d say the exact opposite of what you are saying now.” Which of them would sign?

My nominations: O’Reilly accepts for sure. Beck likewise almost certainly says yes. Limbaugh would want to think it over, but would ultimately say no. Mark Levin: certainly not. Sean Hannity would need the offer explained a few times. Ann Coulter - that one puzzles me - but probably no. Roger Ailes? Do you even need to ask?

[via RCP]

Seriously, What the Hell is Going on in Upstate New York?

If Tom DeLay were still in the GOP leadership, there would be no way in hell a third party candidate would be allowed to siphon off conservative movement money and support in a competitive House race.

It's really a shocking demonstration of grassroots autonomy from a party envied for its discipline over the last generation, and certainly a worrisome development for the GOP. The fact that Dick Armey -- who clashed with DeLay often during their time in Congress -- seems to be part of the gang adding fuel to this fire only makes this spectacle all the more rich.

I understand that there are more than a few conservatives that are pleased as punch with this development, but I can't see how this wins elections. I also can't help but wonder if conservatives who have grown disenchanted with the GOP for being too moderate will use the NY special election as evidence that they no longer need the Republican Party, regardless of the outcome of the special election.

Call Out Boy

I get a kick out of Kyle Maichle's Northshore Exponent -- there's an earnest obliviousness to the blog that is rarely seen this side of "Kids Say the Darnedest Things," and Maichle's post this morning is a perfect example of that.

First some background. Maichle's been riding DPW Chairman Mike Tate pretty much since he assumed duties earlier this year and evidently an anonymous commenter called him out on it, saying:
Can you explain why you have such a hard-on for Mike Tate? You’ve managed to mention him in almost every single post written on this blog. What is your relationship with this guy?
Maichle goes on to justify his Mike Tate fetish as a service to the community, saying he's taking it upon himself to hold Tate accountable for something. What is not really explained: Tate holds no office. His job as chairman is to pretty much raise money. One of the ways chairs do this is by throwing red meat. We'll let Maichle discover this on his own time, however...

Maichle's at his best when he's tut-tutting the anonymous poster with the righteous indignation of a puritan in a brothel. Take a good hard look at the title of the post:

We are making an inappropraite commenter famous, and now you know his name

Got it? Kinda threatening, sorta evocative of a thundering voice of divine retribution bellowing down from on high, no? Well, after spending most of the post explaining his man crush with Tate, Maichle finally gets down to the calling-out business in the last paragraph:
Lastly, the North Shore Exponent is serving a purpose to hold accountable those who are not held accountable to the mainstream media. Because the right is picking up on the blogs, many on the left will engage in conduct like what this person did to try to discredit hard work. However, any person who makes inappropriate comments on this blog will have their comments publicly admonished and like John McCain said: “I will make ‘em famous and you will all know their names."
I think instead of "to" Maichle meant "in" in the first sentence.

Anyway, for some reason Maichle decides to get all John McCain on us and quote one of the least memorable lines of an otherwise forgettable campaign, but the best part is he never actually calls out the commenter! Seriously, we never once find out what the commenter's name is. Here's Maichle, saying he's gonna make this guy an internationally renown pariah and somewhere on the way to infamy he forgot to, you know, actually call the guy out!

Brilliant!

Friday, October 16, 2009

Is this is Drunkest Man Ever Captured on Video?

Saw this last night and the ever wonderful Wall Street Jackass linked to it this morning:

It's almost 11 minutes long and I couldn't take my eyes off it. Like a great Aristotelian drama it evokes both pity and fear on a truly horrific scale.

Plus the T Pain soundtrack is pretty amusing.

What the Does this Mean?

Really, Widgerson should know better:
I don’t think a successful boycott is likely, but someday the NFL may wonder when it started to lose a significant portion of its fan base. It will have begun when fathers stop looking forward to sitting with their sons on Sundays after church and watching their favorite teams together. It will be when we find that we just have better things to do with our time.
Is he seriously suggesting that Limbaugh not owning the Rams will have a long term impact on the football audience?

A month from now people will have forgotten all about the Limbaugh fiasco because they'll be too busy talking about the play-off race.

Rep. Steve Nass

Oh, snap!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

The Real Race?

Sean Duffy seems to be getting some attention today for his fund raising haul for the quarter -- and $120,000 is nothing to scoff at -- but where's the love for Reid Ribble, the 8th CD candidate running against a far more vulnerable opponent and who raised $130,000 in the same period?

It's because Ribble was never on the Real World, right? Or has the GOP just conceded the seat to Steve Kagen in perpetuity?

Limbaugh: if it Weren't about Race it Would Have been about any of a Million Other Things

Much is being made over some odious comments Rush Limbaugh has made regarding African-Americans -- and here are some sourced examples that would get most professional sports owners fined, just ask Marge Schott --but the fact of the matter is that Limbaugh has a whole back catalog of abusive statements to rummage through. Take, for example, some of his many sexist remarks.

This isn't a small issue. The NFL has been trying its damnedest to bring women into the fold in recent years. Remember this commercial:

The message here is pretty simple: the NFL is for women too -- you can be sexy and a football fan at the same time. It's brilliant marketing and one of the reasons the NFL is so good at what it does.

This month the League is supporting Breast Cancer Awareness Month with four -- that right, four! -- weeks of pink-wearing and community activities. There's a reason why the NFL choose breast cancer as opposed to testicular, lung, colon or any other cancer: it's because the NFL wants to show potential fans that it cares about women ... and then subsequently sell the pink merchandise to women.

Women are the next big "get" for the NFL. No one needs to sell football to guys any more, but women who like football have traditionally been dismissed by their peers as "tomboys" (and worse) and the NFL will likely need some time to remold public perception.

But the League has more than just traditional gender roles to deal with in its pursuit of the female demographic. There are a lot of aspects of contemporary professional football that are turn-offs to many women.

For one thing, there are no female athletes. I know it almost sounds silly to say, but it's a fact that is likely not going to be changed any time soon. Second, the women that are part of the game in ancillary capacities tend to be objectified for their looks. The cheerleaders, the hot weather lady on the FOX pre-game show, Erin Andrews (though, to be fair, she really is quite good at what she does) and various other sidelines reporters, etc. Then there's the League's less than stellar reputation with domestic violence...

It's no easy task that the NFL has lined up for itself, so the last thing the League would want to deal with is an owner with a history of making utterly sexist and offensive remarks, the very man who coined the phrase "feminazi," a word that is viewed by many women as a general slur on their gender, not just one aimed at feminists.

The sad thing that Limbaugh actually revels in his repulsion among women. He even suggested convening a "Female Listen Summit" to have women explain to him why he's such a douche. That's certainly one way of going about it.

But here are some of his other golden oldies:
  • #16 on Limbaugh's list of "35 Undeniable Truths of Life" is that "women should not be allowed on juries where the accused is a stud." You know, because our sex-crazed brains just couldn't handle it. Oh, and #24? "Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of society." [via B]
  • "Some of these babes, I'm telling you, like the sexual harassment crowd. They're out there protesting what they actually wish would happen to them sometimes." [via TGW]
  • “She’s actually a very smart cat. She gets loved. She gets adoration. She gets petted. She gets fed. And she doesn’t have to do anything for it, which is why I say this cat’s taught me more about women, than anything my whole life.” [via TP]
  • Responding to an Associated Press report that four women had been recently appointed as chiefs of police in four major U.S. cities, Limbaugh referenced the abuse of Iraqi prisoners at Abu Ghraib as follows on May 27: "If we've got four new female police chiefs out there, then I guess we can watch out for some naked pyramids among prisoners in these new jailhouses that these women ran, because we had a woman running the prison in Abu Grab [sic]." [via MMA]
  • "Edwards might be attracted to a woman whose mouth did something other than talk." [via TGW]
This is not exactly "on message" so far as the NFL is concerned.

What about the other enormous demographic the NFL is trying to court: Latinos.

Does anyone really think Limbaugh, a guy who has called the Latino mayor of LA a "shoe shine boy" and a Latina Supreme Court Justice a "racist" and a "housekeeper," is going to get much traction in the Hispanic community?

Of course not.

And all of this leads to the larger issue: Limbaugh is a professional asshole. He's made a fine living calling scores of people petty and churlish names for over two decades now. No one listens to him because he has some great insight into politics -- he has an audience because he entertains people by being a dick to those whom his audience perceives have slighted them: liberals, Democrats, minorities, women, foreigners, intellectuals, the media and so on and on.

Politics is about building relationships, not burning bridges, and that's what Limbaugh's specializes in. He hates on blacks, he hates on women, he hates on people effected by Parkinsons disease, he hates on just about everyone -- it should come as no surprise that those people should hate him back. This is who he is and it should come as no surprise to anyone that his shtick is not in great demand.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Fergie 1, Limbaugh 0

If you're a fan of Rush Limbaugh -- if you believe him to be a great thinker, a sharp political mind and a powerful man who wields influence in this country -- his embarrassing effort to buy into the St. Louis Rams isn't going to change your opinion of him.

But, man, should it.

Rush Limbaugh just got his ass handed to him. He was flatly rejected by one of the most prominent of American cultural institutions. He was told that his hundred of millions of dollars were no good among NFL owners, many of whom likely share some of his political views.

On his radio show today he blames the -- of course -- media for misrepresenting him, but the simple fact of the matter is that he has said too many vile and questionable things to be covered by errors of a few lazy fact-checkers. Within hours the group headed by St. Louis Blues owner Dave Checkett was talking about dropping him.

Limbaugh couldn't even keep his partners in line.

Which brings us to the larger point of this dismal failure. Limbaugh is an entertainer. He is not a power player (there is no conclusive evidence that talk radio changes voters' minds), though his fans think him to be one. One would hope that this exposes Limbaugh as something of an impotent fool who long ago traded away any pretense of respectability for a ton of money and broadcasting fame.

Frankly, this couldn't have happened to a more deserving asshole. Limbaugh has sold himself off as a political expert for decades now, but he couldn't even negotiate the relatively simple politics of getting 24 people to allow him to purchase a team with his hundreds of millions of dollars. (Even Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas managed to get that job done this week.) If Limbaugh can't even figure out how to buy a football team, how the hell is he going to have a chance at interpreting the far more complicated inner workings of Washington?

He's not. He's an entertainer who's getting his karmic comeuppance. There are going to be many Limbaugh haters enjoying this massive Fail on his part. There will also be countless Limbaugh apologists trying to make this about politics or free speech or whatever. It's not. This is all about business, and one of America's most popular institutions wants nothing to do with Limbaugh or his stale product.

Here's Wilbon:
The market is telling Rush Limbaugh, rather loudly, it doesn't want what he sells. Undoubtedly there is support for Limbaugh in some quarters; my guess is there are NFL owners who share his brand of conservatism. But so far the voices that count the most, the ones that belong to people in the private club Limbaugh wants into, are shouting him down.
That's about all that can be said -- there's no way to spin this. Even prior to word getting out that Limbaugh was going to be dropped from Checkett's team sports business observers were dismissing his involvement.

But lest folks on the left start to get carried away, let's make this perfectly clear: This is not an indictment against conservatism. Not by the NFL or anyone else. This is, however, a very personal rejection of Rush Limbaugh. This is as humiliating a rejection as could possibly occur. Yes, it was primarily a business decision, but modern day professional football is also a business of personalities. The NFL -- and now Checketts -- have basically told Limbaugh, "You are such an odious person that no matter how much money you have we want nothing to do with you because you will only lose us money with your personal vileness."

It's like being rejected by the cool kids table in high school on a truly epic scale.

Limbaugh traded respect for fortune and fame long ago. Now it's finally catching up with him. I'm sure I'm not the only one who will be opening a beer tonight and saying to himself, "It's about time."

Limbaugh's Out of the Rams Ownership group

Brutally embarrassing for "El Rushbo."

Appropriations Death Match!

A very thorough rehashing of the BAE v. Oshkosh Corp. blood feud.

A Conservative Plan to Boycott the NFL

Go ahead, make Roger Goddell's day!

I was waiting for someone to suggest this, and sure enough I didn't have to wait long.

This losing proposition will only get more ridiculous as the days wear on.

[via M]

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Wednesday Morning Link Orgy

  • "The USS New York, built with tonnes of steel salvaged from the World Trade Centre towers, began its journey to New York today after undocking from a New Orleans-area shipyard."

Capt. Karl is still a Fucking Whackjob

Jesus, Dude, just shut the hell up.

A Banner Day for the Conservative New Media Program

Honestly, after a day like this heads should be rolling through the halls of conservative new media circles:
1.) GOP.com can't sustain the weight of the public's desire to ridicule it.

2.) The NRCC can't seem to understand what passes for appropriate humor on Twitter.

3.) RedState.com is run by complete and total idiots.
Keep up the great work, folks!

I Thought the GOP Didn't Believe in Affirmative Action?

Seriously, check out the "American Heroes & Famous Republicans" page of the new GOP website.

Of the 18 Republicans featured on the page (only one of whom is still alive, by the way), 8 are African-American, 1 is Latino and 4 are women.

None have been active since 1989.

No one named Jesse Helms, Strom Thurmond, Barry Goldwater, Robert Taft or Jack Kemp is apparently revered as a "hero" in the GOP.

MORE: The new web site is getting panned from a variety of places. I mean it's really taking a beating.

Here's some more clarification on the GOP's appropriation of Jackie Robinson, who was apparently a Republican for quite a while, but whom left the party after what appeared to be a horrifying experience at the 1964 GOP convention. The subject that turned Robinson off of the party? You guessed it: race.

[updated links via M]

Limbaugh and the Rams

This sounds a lot like Goddell's way of saying "don't even bother:"
"I've said many times before we're all held to a high standard here, and I think divisive comments are not what the NFL is all about," Goodell said. "I would not want to see those comments coming from people who are in a responsible position in the NFL, absolutely not."

[...]

Count Indianapolis Colts owner Jim Irsay in the camp against Limbaugh.

"I, myself, couldn't even consider voting for him," Irsay said. "When there are comments that have been made that are inappropriate, incendiary and insensitive ... our words do damage, and it's something that we don't need."

[...]

Prospective owners must be approved by 24 of the league's 32 teams.

Limbaugh will almost certainly get to play the victim card here when his bid inevitably fails, but he'll have no one to blame but himself. Limbaugh's presence in the NFL is nothing but a liability to the League and it's owners.

For one thing, the business model that made Limbaugh very rich is entirely different from the NFL's.

Limbaugh caters to a niche on the radio. It's an enormous niche, but it's still a very small one compared with the audience that consumes the NFL product. Remember, when Limbaugh buys the Rams, he's not just buying athletes: he's also buying into the far more important NFL brand where he will be one of 31 other voices that keep that brand sacred. That means he'll have to be a team player, something he is incapable of doing on the radio.

The NFL doesn't cater to a niche, it caters to America, and in the last decade the league has made aggressive efforts to court Latinos and women (among other constituencies). These are the fans the NFL knows will be important to sustaining growth in the future. They're also frequent targets of Limbaugh's "humor." The NFL has spent a lot of money on advertising and sponsoring things like Breast Cancer Awareness Month in the last few years and all of that work will be instantly negated when Limbaugh makes his first PMS joke as Rams owner.

That conflict will not only be intolerable to the other NFL owners, but to his own ownership partners. This is the Catch 22 Limbaugh will find himself in if he gets the Rams: in order to be a successful owner, he will have to tone down the radio show. If he doesn't, his team will suffer. He can only manage one product at the expense of the other.

This is a stupid business decision by anyone's standards.

Limbaugh will most likely bow out quietly. His partners will realize he's dead weight to their ownership proposal and ask them to withdraw in exchange for a luxury box or something. Again, NFL owners tend to lean conservative, but this will be about business, not politics, and Limbaugh is not good business for the NFL.

MORE: Completely forgot: Although, there have not been any reports to say as much, the odds are against Pittsburgh Steelers owner Dan Rooney supporting any offer from a group including Limbaugh. Rooney was a vocal supporter of President Obama -- he campaigned for him and even thanked him upon receiving the Vince Lombardi trophy after his team won last year's Super Bowl. He's now the U.S. Ambassador to Ireland.

But more importantly, he's also the man behind the Rooney Rule, one of the most successful hiring policies in professional sports. Rooney, as well as anyone, knows exactly what kind of damage Limbaugh can do to the NFL brand as an owner.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Bravo, Milwaukee!

You can run a marathon better than Chicago ... barely.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Hey, You Know Who Else Got the Holy Shit Kicked Out of Him in His Party's 2006 Primary Election?

Scott Walker.

Flu(erism) Season

There are a lot of nutty theories running wild across the internet these days. Truthers, Birthers, Tenthers, more Truthers, etc. but the one that -- hands down -- takes the cake for sheer enormity of lunacy are the "Fluers." Unfamiliar with these folks? Well, let's meet one.

Ol' Capt. Karl is a blogger from the Peshtigo area and certified Fluer. Not surprisingly, Karl is something of a Ron Paul groupie who espouses several other fringe beliefs like Birtherism and the a passionate dislike of the Federal Reserve, but lately he's putting aside those issues in favor something truly batshit insane: Fluerism.

What's Fluerism? Well, let's take this step-by-step because it's something of a wild ride.

Step 1: "the U.S. Government and the Corporations [have] developed an implantable H1N1 detector Positive I.D. RFID chips."

I know RFID technology sounds scary, but it's not very practical for keeping track of human beings. Besides, there's really no reason to implant chips under human skin when the government can just track someone with the cell phones that most of us carry on our persons these days. Cell phones, however, are good things that bring us convenience. Chip implantation is a scary bad thing -- much more suited for crazy ass conspiracy theories, but not very practical. If Capt. Karl were advocating everyone to throw away their cell phones, no one would listen. Oddly, when he talks about chip implantation, then he gets an audience. Go figure.

Step 2: "Unlike the old larger RFID chip shown in the video, nanites would flow around you body with your blood stream. They could not be removed like the RFID chip in the movie above because they would be racing around your whole body."

Ah, yes, nanotechnology: the conspiracy theorists gift from God -- too small to be seen with the human eye, but capable of just about anything.

Step 3: "Could the U.S. Government force you and your family to accept an injection of the RFID Positive I.D. Chip?"

Did you catch that? "RFID positive"? Makes it sound like the government is injecting people with AIDS...

The rest of the post is unreadable, a combination of poorly cited magazine articles, pharmaceutical industry press releases, and laws that are arranged in no easily discernible order. And this is likely by design: the author has absolutely no proof to back up his mad assertions so he hopes to cloud his reader with enough doubt to make his claims seem plausible. If you have the patience to soldier through it, you're a masochist.

The gist of the post this as follows: at some point in the coming Flu season, the federal government will declare a state of emergency that triggers a series of legal criteria that subsequently requires the vaccination of every citizen from the H1N1 virus.

But it gets better ... or stranger: Capt. Karl believes that those who refuse the vaccination will be rounded up by government, "shackled" with RFID bracelets and taken to "concentration camps" -- his words -- in an attempt to stifle dissent.

Got that?

Does any of that make any sense at all? Of course not, but that's not stopping Karl from putting the cherry on top of this shit sundae. The remaining big question is: why? Take it away, Karl:
We would further ask our readers, isn’t it strange that this so-called “pandemic” is happening, after all these decades of no pandemics, right at the same time The MATRIX (our economy based on Monopoly money that our minds have been programmed to believe is worth 100 cents, when in the ‘real’ world it factually is worth only 2 – 3 cents) is soon to collapse? Coincidence? I don’t know but I think the U.S. Government is trying to sell us a spare bridge.
So the Swine Flu is just a cover to enslave the entire U.S. population because our economy is largely based on credit.

Capt. Karl has no evidence for any of this whatsoever, of course. He's putting this whackjob tall tale together using some videos by anonymous vloggers that are wild-eyed and suspect on even their best days. I don't know how the hell he can say there have been "all these decades of no pandemics" when AIDS, SARS, and avian flu are all fresh in the memory.

I doubt we'll hear the last of Capt. Karl and his crazy Fluerism, and I'm sure this is going to be just the beginning of a long line of paranoid fantasies conjured up in the most fragile minds of the blogosphere. I'd love to live in a world wherein Capt Karl is exiled to the furthest reaches of Crazytown, but I don't plan on seeing that any time soon, which is too bad.

MORE: I can see that I'm going to have lot of fun playing with Capt. Karl in the future.

The ink was barely dry on this post (as it were) when good old Karl decided to chime in with some more "evidence" on the Evil Government Plot to Enslave us All (or EGPEA)!

Karl links to a video produced by Russia Today -- about one of the least credible news sources in the world (here's just one of many RT interviews with Lyndon LaRouche; note how seriously he's taken by the news readers).

It's type of shit like this that does far more harm than good.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

"The Board of Elections can suck my dick": A Salute to America's Most Awesome Mayoral Candidates

Bruce Tumin, candidate for Mayor of North Lauderdale, FL:

According to the police report released yesterday, when officers, who received an anonymous call of a loud party, responded to the house, they found Tumin yelling and cursing at a woman who was sitting on a truck.

"Why are you sitting on the truck? Is that your f---ing truck? Who gave you permission to sit on that truck?" Tumin said, according to the report.

When officers approached Tumin, they could "smell a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage coming from the defendant's breath and person," the report read.

The report also noted that Tumin had slurred speech and red, glassy eyes.

When Tumin was ordered to leave the party he gave the classic line, "Do you know who I am?" to officers, according to the report.

Well played!

Tony Phillips, candidate for Mayor of Allentown, PA:

Tony Phillips says he's taken a lot of hits in the past week. And the hits just keep coming. Allentown mayoral candidate Tony Phillips' troubles began a week ago when a woman he had an affair with from 2003 to 2007 tricked him into talking dirty on the Internet. Margarita Lopez - aka Delores - posted the conversation online under the heading "is this the kind of man we want for mayor of Allentown?" But this week, Lopez tells 69 News her motives were not political. Now she says, she wants women to know she's HIV positive and Phillips might have been exposed.

!!!!

Leo Awgowhat, candidate for Mayor of Memphis, TN:

Leo Awgowhat, who explained that he had a multiple personality disorder and was living off government “crazy checks.” (At birth he was known as Jason Wells.) If his chosen — and now apparently legal — last name sounds like part of a familiar knock-knock joke with a profane punchline, it’s because it is. The T-shirt he wore Tuesday night (next to a somewhat grossed-out and ultra-serious ‘Randy Cagle) all but spelled out most of the punchline: “Go —-k Yo-rself.”

Awgowhat, oddly enough, was not the craziest candidate on dais for the recent mayoral debate. (via WS).

But the winner has to go to Jimmy McMillan, candidate for Mayor of New York City:

Shortly after he met with the board to plead his case yesterday, we called McMillan to see what was going on. Barely had we said "hi" before he launched into this expletive-laden tirade (click for audio):

"I had a hell of a day, man. I would love to put on my website that the Board of Elections can suck my dick, I would love to do that, but I got little children going to my website, I can't do it, the motherfuckers. I would love to, before every one of them go to bed at night, suckin' my damn dick. That's what I'd love to put on my website. Every fuckin' one of them, you know.
He added, "I'll put it on my website, fuck the motherfuckers, man." It was at this point we decided to stop Mr. McMillan and get him to speak on the record. Turns out he already had been. "You're saying that everything you just said can be on the record?" we confirmed. "Everything I just said. Suck my fuckin' dick, the fuckin' board, every fuckin' one of them."

Vote McMillan: It's for the Kids!

Bravo, one and all!

Friday, October 2, 2009

Movie Bleg

If you have seen Synecdoche, New York, please tell me what you thought of it.

Much obliged.

Comedy Ain't Easy

Exhibit A.